As a young child I was born into church culture. The story of Jesus and the power of God was never out of earshot. I sat in the same pew for what seemed ages, and as a 9 year old sitting in the same old spot doing the same old thing God used to bring me to Him.
Having knowledge about who God was and that He sent Jesus, His son, for me, to take my spot on the cross and die for my sins finally sunk into my heart. I went home and asked questions about what it meant to be “saved” and how I could do that. So I prayed for Jesus to come into my heart and save me. Aside from the love Jesus poured out for me on the cross, and that He was God’s son, sent by Him to die for ME, I didn’t know much more.
Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead you will be saved.
That’s exactly what I believed.
As I grew up, still being a young church brat, not much changed. I still sat in the pews but didn’t experience any growth. I wasn’t ever truly discipled at a young age so I continued to be a spiritual baby. That turned out to be an incredible disservice to my walk with Jesus Christ. As I got into my teens I began to face issues that I wasn’t prepared for, spiritually or maturity wise. As a 14 year old I experienced my first bit of pornography; little did I know that it would be a trap that would be harder than I thought to get out of.
Through fighting that I was still going to church and slightly growing. My walk was endangered by the sin that had latched onto my heart, eyes, and mind. I was barely growing if at all until I was 17. I had just ended an unhealthy relationship and was “through” with pornography, and that was true for about a year. I had my first HUGE growth of my life! I was so close to God and His word. A few months later I felt God calling me to full time surrender to ministry, yet I didn’t know what that looked like. I still took that step as best I knew how.
Shortly after I fell into the same sins of old, and my growth became null. I wrestled with the world and what God called me into, not only as a minister, but as a christian. I didn’t know enough and once college came along it was a time to reinvent my self. I also used that time to test my faith, or more accurately test God. I wasn’t sure if this “whole God thing” was really all it was cracked up to be.
Well, I came to a conclusion quite contrary to what I was expecting. I not only dove into scripture to test it but God showed Himself to me in ways I’d never seen or experienced. His renewing grace began to overflow my broken heart. He showed me that through anything He can RESTORE it; and He did me. From that time as a new 21 year old young man I began running the race that God destined for me before I existed, and answered the call He had placed on me as a 17 year old. I am now pursuing full time ministry opportunities.
All that being said, God’s love is powerful to heal. His grace is quick to forgive. His providence and faithfulness far outweighs our own. He never records our wrongs. He has destined each of us for a specific purpose. Mine is perfect and as I walk through His path He prepares my steps with His Divine Orchestration