I feel that it is important to write this now. Reason 1: It is fresh on my mind and heart. Reason 2: In 45 minutes I will begin my service to the youth of Sooner Baptist Church.
I am so excited to be embarking on this journey that God has orchestrated for me but I’m also nervous, anxious, worried, feel like I have a knew type of pressure; some of which is healthy but for the most part it is not.
You see, I want to be perfect. I want to be the best I can. I want to be better than that. I want this youth group to experience exponential growth in my time here. I want to see miracles. I want, I want, I want.
The necessity of high achievement is human nature, wanting to be perfect, especially in youth ministry might be seen as psychotic. Wanting to see revival in a youth group, shoot, even in one kids life is totally desirable, if I didn’t want that I shouldn’t have taken the job. It’s not the result that is skewed it’s the motive.
My motive to be perfect is to be seen, to not want to fail, or be seen fail. I want revival for me. To in some twisted way think that I was the reason these things happened.
As I cleaned and organized our youth room just minutes ago I began to pray, for things pure in nature and motive. I feel as though in my prayers God revealed just a piece of His goodness and it was exactly what I needed. It lifted the pressure off of me and put it at the cross. He said, “if you succeed I am the one succeeding, but if you fail, it is I who failed”.
I understand that God is perfect and Holy and cannot mess up, but this was different. It reassured me that if BIG things happen (which is what I desire) that it would not be me, but God. And that if things don’t work out and BIG things don’t happen that it would be God’s plan. It took the pressure off, the weight was gone.
That is essentially what the Christian life in a nutshell is. Yes we must work out our salvation with fear and trembling but that God took/takes/ will forever take care of the hard part, thus alleviating us from the burden. He says’ “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.
Do you need a little freedom today? I know I did. Search for it in Jesus and He will surely be found.