Lately I have had many thoughts but not much time to put them on paper.It’s been great starting at FBC Moore and pouring into the students there but I haven’t found the right balance between doing things and just being still before God. It may sound silly but I feel like I’m a very hard worker, so much in fact that I rarely take breaks to focus on me. This has continued to boil over until I finally reached my breaking point. Tuesday I had to get away and have some me and God time, so I went to a college worship service to focus on refilling myself instead of focusing on others (I hope this doesn’t sound selfish). This feeling reminded me of what someone said to me a few months ago. He said, “focus on your relationship with Christ, magnify it and everything else will fall into place”. Those were very wise and helpful words for me – someone who tries to earn his way to being loved more.
It makes me think of a time when I was playing high school basketball. As an 18 year old senior I wanted nothing more than to be the best. I had sacrificed my time since I was 16 for this final season. I remember some practices where my coach said this but I remember him saying it in this one game in particular. I was trying as hard as I could at the start of the season just coming back from football and I felt like I had to show him and the other players that I was fully committed, so I gave everything I could. So much in fact that my coach pulled me out of the game and began to talk with me, he said, “Sean, you need to quit trying so hard. Don’t force it, let the game come to you.” Those words were so frustrating, and for a while I didn’t know what he meant. When I finally understood, it just clicked. He wasn’t saying not to give 110%, he was saying give 110% for you and you alone, you don’t have to be all 5 positions, almost like he were saying, “that’s not why I put you in the game. You have one position and I want you to give 110% in that position. Don’t try to do others parts.” It is very reminiscent of how I felt these past few weeks in my Christian walk. Trying to do so much for so many when I need to focus on my relationship first and foremost.
I know that it is physically impossible for me, Sean Corser, to do anything to make God love me anymore or any less. So if that’s true why do I try so hard? Why do so many other Christians fall into this same mindset? For me, and maybe others, I feel like – and this is so skewed – that I will earn favor, that God will owe me something in return. That I can earn my way to better status with God. In Galatians Paul approaches this same situation. The people of Galatia were very legalistic in their thinking, that you must do something for God to ever get anything back in return. That is so opposite of the gospel. The gospel is a free gift thats been paid for in advance and is just waiting for someone to accept it. It doesn’t require any displays of personal gifts to be given, it is completely free. Romans 6:23 says that the gift of God is eternal life. Paul fought legalism with everything he could so there wouldn’t be grounds to condemn anyone for their lack of works. But he proclaimed that there is no condemnation for anyone who is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Working for the sake of the gospel is a great thing, in fact we’re called to labor and strain for the gospel, but if we work for the benefit of doing good works then it will be in vain and we will end up tired and exhausted like I was. I think the key is searching through God’s word, being before Him in prayer and diligently seeking His plan. To be effective is to be smack dab in the center of God’s plan. God’s church is effective when all parts of the body work in unison; the ears act as ears, the feet as feet, hands as hands and so on. If the feet decide they want to be the nose you’re going to have a disgruntled overworked worker who is trying to do things that God has not designed him to do. His plan is perfect and His knowledge is above all else. He is calling me to be dependent, obedient in His plan, patient in my pursuits, and loving in my calling. Not letting pride get a foothold in my heart but understanding that apart from Christ I am useless and that only in the role He gives me will I be satisfied and effective. It’s all for the cross so I will work all the more, not for me but for the Lord.